Hun gikk av bussen med verdens største glis – jeg ble trist

Charlotte Vigdisdatter Vogel forteller i dette debattinnlegget (publisert 3. mai 2018 på Aftenposten debatt) om en interaksjon mellom henne og noen unge gutter som fikk henne til å gå av bussen med et glis. Jeg derimot ble bare trist av å lese innlegget.

Hun overhører noen gutter snakke sammen på bussen om en fest. Den ene gutten fortalte hvordan en jente hadde gått rett bort til ham og tatt ham i skrittet.

«Fyfaen, hu ene jenta på den festen var jo gæærn! Hu kom rett bort til meg og græbba pikken min jo!»

Kameratene hans lo det bort.

«Hahaha, særr!?»

Gutten sier han er alvorlig. Det er en klar indikasjon på at han opplevde hendelsen som svært negativt.

«Jaaa, jeg tenkte bare; hva faen? Hun kan vel ikke bare gjøre sånn! Det er jo ulovlig!»

Kameratene fortsetter å bagatellisere det.

«Hahahaha, det er vel ikke ulovlig, haha din idiot, bare ei dame som tok deg på pikken jo!»

Gutten mangler støtte fra kameratene er på vikende front. Han tyr til en sammenligning for å framheve at dette ikke var ok.

«Høhø, nei, men hør da, okei kanskje det ikke er ulovlig da, men tenk da, hvis det var en gutt som gjorde det på en jente?! Da hadde hun jo blitt kjemperedd, og det er faen ikke greit ass!»

Kameratene er enige at det ikke er greit å gjøre dette mot en jente, men fremholder at det er annerledes mot gutter.

«Neeei, du har jo rett i det da kis … men haha, hun tok deg jo bare på ballene da, og vi blir jo ikke sånn redde, vi reagerer jo annerledes ikke sant!»

Gutten forsøker å si at det ikke er greit mot gutter.

«Jojo, men jeg syns bare ikke det er greit jeg ass, skal ikke drive å græbbe folk på kroppen akkurat sånn som man vil, det er ikke kult!»

På dette tidspunktet bestemmer artikkelforfatteren å hoppe inn samtalen mellom guttene. Kommentaren hennes begynner lovende.

Sa at det var det beste jeg hadde hørt på lenge, at jeg var utrolig stolt av det jeg hadde overhørt, og at dette virkelig var noe han måtte fortsette med.

Men den fortsetter ikke like bra. De som hadde håpet at hun skulle støtte gutten og bekrefte hans opplevelse at det ikke er greit at en jente har tatt ham i skrittet uten samtykke blir skuffet.

Spurte om han hadde en søster – det hadde han.

Javel, sa jeg. Du har nettopp bækka søstra di, venninnene dine, og til og med moren din, opp. Du har helt rett i det du sier, og vi trenger flere unge, kule gutter som deg, som stiller opp for oss jentene og gjør oss tryggere.

Overgrepet mot gutten kommer helt i skyggen av forfatterens glede over at gutten hadde sagt at det ikke var greit å gjøre slikt mot jenter. Et utsagn de andre guttene forøvrig var enig i. Hun berømmer ham for å stille opp for jenter og gjøre dem tryggere. Ikke et ord om jenta som forgrep seg på gutten, ikke et ord om at det gutten opplevde ikke var ok – ikke et ord om at det faktisk er ulovlig også for jenter å bare ta gutter i skrittet uten deres samtykke.

Jeg er redd hun endte opp med å bekrefte kameratenes bagatellisering av overgrepet gutten opplevde, endte opp med å bekrefte at selv om det ikke greit å gjøre noe slikt mot en jente så er det annerledes og mindre alvorlig å gjøre det mot en gutt.

 

Dagen etter kom det en oppdatering til innlegget der forfatteren henviser til noe av kritikken som var kommet i kommentarfeltene. Oppdateringen begynner bra med å si at hun tar selvkritikk for ikke å inkludere begge kjønn – og gutten selv i hennes tilnærming til dem. Dessverre så fortsetter oppdateringen med følgende:

Jeg opplevde ikke på noe tidspunkt at denne gutten var redd eller traumatisert av hendelsen. Han gikk ut av bussen med et kjempestort smil. Når alle parter forlater situasjonen med en så positiv innstilling, er det på sin plass med et glis.

Etter min erfaring så er det faktum at gutten faktisk tok opp hendelsen med kameratene sine og at han forsøkte å overbevise dem om at det ikke var ok på tross av deres bagatellisering en klar indikasjon på at han hadde opplevd hendelsen som traumatisk. Dette evner ikke artikkelforfatter å se og så lenge gutten gikk av bussen med et smil og en positiv instilling så er det i følge henne på sin plass å glise.

Jeg derimot så en gutt som forsøkte å åpne seg opp og fortelle om noe ugreit som skjedde ham. Han viste i høyeste grad sin sårbarhet. Kameratene bagatelliserte det. Artikkelforfatteren bekreftet og forsterket den dominante sosiale oppfatningen om at dette er noe som kun betyr noe når det rammer jenter. Jeg så også en gutt som tok på seg masken igjen og pakket sin sårbarhet bort bak et smil når ingen bekreftet hans opplevelse som noe uakseptabelt.

Jeg blir trist.

 

For my English speaking readers: This post is about a letter published in a national newspaper where the author relates how she overheard a group of adolescent boys on the bus talk about a party last night. One of the boys tells how a girl groped his groin at the party and that he thought it wasn’t ok. His friends made light of this and he tried to emphasize that it wasn’t ok to do this to men by asking them how it isn’t ok when one does the same thing towards a woman. The other boys agreed that it was a bad thing to do to a girl, but continued to argue that it’s different when it’s done to boys since they react differently. At this point the author injects herself into the conversation and congratulate the boy for his support for women like his sister, mother and female friends. No mention were made of the sexual assault against the boy. The author left the bus with a big smile on her face. In an update to the letter the author acknowledge and accept the criticism that she didn’t include both genders or even the boys experience in her interaction with the boys. Unfortunately the update continues to make the assertion that the boy didn’t seem scared or traumatized by the experience – he was smiling and how that warranted that the interaction on a whole was positive. I disagree as the notion that victims need to appear scared or traumatized at all time for us to take the act committed against them seriously is toxic.

 

Archived ((10th of May 2018) version of the article: https://web.archive.org/web/20180510015009/https://www.aftenposten.no/meninger/debatt/i/KvRQp4/Jeg-gikk-av-bussen-med-tidenes-storste-glis–Charlotte-Vigdisdatter-Vogel

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RAINN Goes Against The Grain

This post was also published on Feminist Critics.

 

On February 28th RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) published their recommendations for the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault, which President Obama has charged with creating a plan to reduce rape on college campuses.

RAINN is the United States’ largest anti-sexual violence organization and is generally well-respected. They run the DoD Safe Helpline on behalf of the Department of Defense. So I think we can safely assume that RAINN does have some lobbying clout on this issue.

RAINN really went against many of the more common feminist talking points/strategies against rape in their recommendation. This hasn’t gone completely unnoticed among feminists as can be seen in this post on Feministing and in some of the comments on RAINN’s Facebook post about their recommendations to the White House Task Force. But I have to say I expected a bit more discussion of this in feminist circles, all things considered. So let’s look at what RAINN wrote which I think will be viewed as problematic by some feminists.

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South Africa: Rape and partner violence among youths

South Africa is said to be the worlds rape capital according to a report published in 2012 by the Institute for Security Studies (ISS) think-tank. That report only looked at female victims of rape. Searching Google News one quickly sees that sexual violence and rape in South Africa is prevalent and has been for quite some time. One also note that women and girls are the most common victims mentioned – although rape against young male children are also mentioned. Perpetrators are always male. So the impression one is left with is: Women and girls (but also some boys) are raped by male perpetrators in disturbingly high numbers.

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But globally…like South Africa or India…

This was a comment I made on FeministCritics in January this year.

 

I sometimes have experience that sometimes when the number of male victims in the US can’t be dismissed the scope/goalpost is shifted to a global level: “But women are the vast majority of rape victims gobally” or alternatively in third world countries. Afghanistan, South Africa and recently India are examples used. Other examples are conflict-rape in the Democratic Republic of Congo (which by Eve Ensler is described as a gendercide) and Sierra Leone.

It apparently doesn’t occur to them that the same mechanism that erases male victims in the US is at play elsewhere in the world and in how information and news from elsewhere is filtered and presented.

 

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Man fined 1.000 USD for being raped

UPDATE3: Feminist Pia Bitcsch has written a pretty good article on this case in Aftenposten (in Norwegian). She has been in contact with the man’s lawyer and has confirmed that four witnesses testified that the man indeed was asleep when the womens started to have oral sex with him.

UPDATE: The man have now been convicted and have to pay the fine and probably court fees as well as his attorney’s fees (he wasn’t eligible for a public defender). The court didn’t believe that he was asleep and found it proven that he was aware of and accepted it when the two women performed  oral sex on him. The extent he didn’t consider the surroundings and where this took place (in public) were due to his self-inflicted intoxicated state the court wrote. The court acknowledges that the man was very intoxicated when this happened. The first police officer on the site reported that the man was lying on his back with his penis exposed and that one of the woman was on top of him, with her clothes on. He states that when the police addressed the three the defendant was difficult to get a response from. Eventually he rose up and pulled his pants up. The defendant appeared a bit aggressive and didn’t want to talk to the police. The police officer opinionated that the defendant had clearly been under the influences of narcotics and not just alcohol.

Again I’ll iterate the wording in Norwegian rape law: “sexual activity with somebody who is unconscious or for any other reason incapable of resisting the act” is rape. If the man was very intoxicated and unresponsive it doesn’t sound to me like he was capable of resisting the act.

Source: http://www.nettavisen.no/nyheter/article3692877.ece

http://translate.google.no/translate?sl=no&tl=en&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=http://www.nettavisen.no/nyheter/article3692877.ece

I have sent an email to the court requesting access to the verdict in full.

UPDATE 2: I have now received the verdict in full. I was surprised to learn that they didn’t even redact the names of the people involved. In short it doesn’t seem to state much more than the newspaper article about the verdict. There was four witnesses. Two people eating at the restaurant watching the event unfold, one of the women performing oral sex on the defendant and the policeman who first came to the scene.

Neither of the two witnesses from the restaurant were quoted in the verdict on any statements about the  man’s level of intoxication and whether he was unconscious or not when the women performed oral sex on him. The verdict stated that these witnesses saw the man and the two women, all who appeared intoxicated, settle on the grass outside the restaurant window.  Then all three rolled around and the women started to put grass in the man’s pants. The man had no pants and suddenly his pants on boxershorts were on his knees and the women started to play with his penis. After a while they switched performing fellatio on him.  After 15 minutes or so the restaurant guests’ food arrived and they didn’t want to watch this while they ate so they called the police. The verdict does not state whether the witnesses think the man is incapacitated when the oral sex commences.

The police arrived shortly after. The police officer arriving at the scene testified that the defendant was lying on the ground with his penis exposed and that one of the women was lying on top of him with her clothes on. The officer approached all three. It was hard to establish contact with the defendant and the police officer considered the man to be very intoxicated. After a while the man stood up and pulled up his pants. He was not interested in talking to the police and appeared to have an somewhat aggressive demeanor. An “sign- and symptom test” (a test to look for signs and symptoms of intoxication from alcohol and or drugs) was not possibe to administer (the reason why is not stated in the verdict). Later at the police station the a breathalizer test showed a 0.44 BAC by mass. The police were convinced that the man was under the influence of drugs in addition to alcohol.

The women admitted to having performed oral sex on the man in public. The verdict does not state whether the women considered the man to be incapacitated when they started to perform oral sex on him.

The verdict finds it proven that the man particpated in the oral sex the women performed on him, it states that the defendant participated and accepted the act. To the extent that the defendant didn’t consider the surroundings and where he was is attributed to his self-inflicted intoxication. The court therefore stipulates that the defendant wasn’t asleep when the act occured as the defendant claimed.

I wonder how the court court did find this proved and what they based their stipulation on since the verdict didn’t cite any witnesses directly supporting the court’s ruling.

The court clerk who provided that verdict stated that the defendant have appealed the verdict. I do not know when the appeal is scheduled.

This is a post about a news story in one of the larger online newspapers in Norway. They report about a case where a man and two women have been fined appr. 1.000 USD each for indecent behaviour in public and public exposure. The two women performed oral sex on the man in the afternoon (4:45pm) on a public place outside a restaurant only a few meters from the police station. Some members of the public contacted the police who promptly arrived on the scene, made the involved stop the sex act and issued the fines. The two women have since accepted the fine while the man hasn’t and he is now appearing for the court trying to defend himself against the fine.

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New study: Prevalence Rates of Male and Female Sexual Violence Perpetrators

UPDATE: I’ve become aware that the complete article I linked to isn’t available for free for everyone. Apparently a publicly funded organization in Norway called Helsebiblioteket (Health Library) have bought access to JAMA for everyone who has an IP adress that’s physically located in Norway. All the quoted text in the post below are from the actual paper and NOT from the National Geographic article I also linked to.

Michele L. Ybarra, MPH; Kimberly J. Mitchell, PhD Prevalence Rates of Male and Female Sexual Violence Perpetrators in a National Sample of Adolescents JAMA Pediatr. Published online October 07, 2013. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2013.2629 available here: http://archpedi.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1748355

This study found that females and males have carried out sexual violence at nearly equal levels by the age of 18 — 48 percent on the female side, 52 percent on the male side. 4% (10 females and 39 males) reported attempted or completed rape.

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Some Swedish, Norwegian and baltic statistics on sexual abuse amongst youths

This is from a comment I made a short while back on FeministCritics, I shortly discuss the shortcomings of the Swedish Crime Survey from BRÅ in regards to sexual assault and rape statistics and also mention the NOVA (Norwegian Social Research) Report titled “The Baltic Sea Regional Study on Adolescents’ Sexuality”. The most startling find of that report is that Polish boys are three times as likely to have experienced sexual abuse in the form of intercourse than girls. I also note that the NOVA Report cites the paper “Adolescent sexual aggression: risk and protective factors” by Borowski, Hogan, Ireland published in Pediatrics 1997 Dec;100(6):E7.

Here it is:

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